It’s been a few weeks since I told you about my lipstick challenge. (Missed it? Go here.) But since then, I’ve realized there are some things we don’t talk about when it comes to appearance. Sure, we talk a lot about how people look. But what about how it FEELS to look good?

You’re probably bored reading about me and lipstick. I’m trying to build a muscle, a habit, to present myself to the world in a better light. A better light through lipstick.

The first week I had to remember to put lipstick on. Then, I had to remember to put lipstick on AND take a picture and post on Instagram.

It sounds simple, but it’s building a habit to do something that I haven’t been doing, but want to do. I want to, but I still procrastinate… for 61 years. OK. Let’s call it 45 years. (Give me a break for all those years I wasn’t allowed to wear make-up.)

People noticed I’ve made an effort. I didn’t think people would care, but guess what, they do! When you make an effort to show up better, people notice.

The hardest part of learning something new is not embracing the new idea, but of letting go of the old one. (Todd Rose)

Letting go of old ideas

For me, letting go of the idea that I need make-up to look fresh or cute stands in the face of the thought that I’ve had for the past many years that I didn’t need make-up.

“Need” is one of those funny words. Of course, I don’t NEED make-up. But I look a whole lot better WITH make-up.

And here’s the BIG NEWS: It’s not about the make-up. It’s about how I feel when I wear make-up. I feel polished. Like an adult. I feel pulled together.

It makes a difference from the inside out.

And this is one of the things we don’t talk about enough.

Not to mention, it also makes a difference from the outside in.

Because others perceive me differently. I don’t look like a tired old lady. Instead, look like someone who cares and makes an effort.

Backstory #1

I had a ladies’ luncheon one time at my house. I worked hard for two days pulling it together. The good dishes and silver were brought out. I made everything myself. I had invited women I wanted to know better.

One woman arrived wearing her dirty sweats. She said she almost forgot to come, ran over at the last minute, and didn’t have time to shower or dress up.

I put on a happy face, so pleased to see her. But in reality, I felt like I had gone to this great effort for her, and she made so little effort for my other guests or me. It was a big message.

So, remember this: how you show up gives a message to those around you.

And I want to give the right message.

All those years in high school, my mom told me I didn’t need make-up… Now she says, “Where’s your lipstick?”

She puts lipstick on to come to the breakfast table because Gunnar’s there, and she wants to look presentable. It goes both ways. Old habits die hard. Mom has to have it, and I don’t think of it.

A new way of being

It’s time to let go of your old way of being in the world and embrace your new way of being.

Isn’t that what it’s about? Whether you want to meditate regularly or eat better or lose weight or whatever new habit you want to adopt.

You have to shed your old view of yourself like a snake sheds his skin and leave that behind while you become what you yearn to be.

Unless you can let go of the old you, you will not be able to become the new you.

You will not be able to lose weight, or get organized, or remember to put on your lipstick. You have to become the kind of person who puts on lipstick.

So THIS WEEK, the challenge is going up a notch.

I have to remember to put on my lipstick, take and post a photo, and REAPPLY after lunch so that during the afternoons I don’t have this used lipstick look going on.

Backstory #2

After college, I went through the I. Magnin Management training program.

How I loved that job… if only I could have afforded to work there and live in San Francisco! (Some things don’t change!)

I idolized the woman who helped train me, Wendy.

Her make-up always looked perfect to me. But as soon as she got into the office, she got out her make-up bag and went to the mirror and adjusted it… applied fresh powder and lipstick. She did the same when she returned from lunch and before she departed at the end of the day.

I remember sitting there watching her, amazed.

I felt it was vain to spend so much time in front of the mirror primping… but Wendy made it feel so normal.

I never picked up her habit. She would occasionally remind me to fix my lipstick, and she would recommend which counter to go to for make-up, but I didn’t catch on.

Here is my challenge for this week: to channel Wendy. (Now that I put it that way, I’m kind of excited!)

It’s your turn

What about you? What is your challenge upgrade for the week? (Geez, at this rate, I’m going to be getting pedicures before we know it! The Year of the Full Make-Over!) What’s one of those things we don’t talk about that you’re ready to explore?

No, no. I promise to change subjects shortly. I’m just a bit obsessed with this right now. (Clearly, it’s not one of the things we don’t talk about in my house!) But doesn’t it take being a bit obsessed about something to stay focused on it?

Have a productive week! (Need some help with that? Take a look at this)

Did you like reading about the Lipstick Challenge and things we don’t talk about? Take a look at these other posts too:

How to Easily Change Your World View
Fly the Plane Before It’s Ready
Speaking Up in Church: What’s Stopping You?