It takes only one small language tweak.
Grace seemed like she was fun and got her work done.
But she had one fatal flaw (that I knew of…).
It was the kind of personality flaw that weighs heavier over time.
She had, what I would call, a chip on her shoulder.
She saw her situation as happening TO her.
Everything was happening to her.
Covid-19 forced her to cancel her trip to Hawaii.
Why me? She whined…
Her regular store ran out of toilet paper.
Typical… she complained.
She had to go to three other stores to get her supply.
What’s wrong with these stores??? she said.
She can’t go to her gym now, and she’s gaining weight.
Thank you, COVID.
Grace takes everything personally—like it’s happening just to her.
She has a minimal world perspective.
Alas, this fatal flaw is quite common.
I call it the Oh, Poor Me syndrome.
Do you know someone who suffers from that? Someone who plays the victim role to get attention? But really, they’re the primary source of their problems? Their perspective is somehow out of sync?
It takes a mindset shift to gain perspective with this kind of person.
The problem is they never recognize it’s their view of the world that is causing them this pain or anxiety.
One simple shift can change all of that.
The shift will increase their motivation and productivity.
They will learn to see the world through a whole new lens.
And it’s merely a prepositional shift.
Change the preposition from “TO” to “FOR.”
How simple is that?
For Grace, instead of seeing things as happening TO her, she can shift and see how it looks if things were happening FOR her.
By looking through a new lens, she can see the situation in a whole new way. A way that provides her the opportunity to reframe it into a way that will benefits her.
And who wouldn’t appreciate seeing the world in a way that benefits them?
For example, if you look at the COVID situation as something that has happened FOR you, what do you see as the benefits that have come out of it?
For me, I get to spend more time with my kids and husband. We get to eat family meals together. We get to work out together.
Because of COVID, I wrote and published my book, Power-up Your Productivity: How to Be More Productive From Your Home Office. I would never have been able to have the focused time to get that done if not for COVID.
Of course, there are lots of negatives, but focusing on those isn’t going to make them go away. And when I think about those, I get depressed. So I think about positive things instead.
You probably think I am a bit of a Polly Anna. Maybe I am. But if everything is happening TO you, you’re carrying the weight of the world. If they are happening FOR you, you can figure out how to use this opportunity to benefit your situation.
So go for a REFRAME.
What other things are happening for you this week? Use it to your full advantage!
Best,
Alicia
PS: I have a new resource that’s coming out later this week. It’s a way to help your kids with their college personal essay. If you’re in the college application mode, keep your eyes open for that on Thursday.
It’s a whole new world!